Yes, your mother probably did make you feel guilty when you didn’t do what she wanted. And, undoubtedly, you were told that if everyone did her part, the world would be a better place. But forget the guilt. Helping out a loved one, colleague, or cause isn’t going to work for anyone if it makes you miserable.
My friend Elizabeth is the mother of three kids under the age of 6 and an active community volunteer. Recently she turned down intense pressure :”you’d be perfect for the job”) to head up a school organization. “It was a Big No for me,” she says. “There’s so much that needs to get done. How could I love my children and not work to better our schools? But I already put up my life in chaos. I was shortchanging my family and myself. I just told them, I want more control over my life. I need to do what I’m doing well, without taking on anything new. I’m tapped out. You’ll have to find somebody else.
As soon as she recognized her own purpose-she could articulate no in a steady, unapologetic manner.
