A way to deal with frozen feelings (2 of 2)

Any emotional situation that takes us out of the present and into the past means that whenever the same kind of emotion crops up later in our life we return to the past for our reference point. If that point was at age three, we find ourselves behaving like a three-year-old. We feel childish and we behave childishly. Even worse, we condemn ourselves for being stupid or immature and through our mental self-talk; reinforce the problem while desperately searching for a solution.

Whenever we feel deeply stressed our brain and body goes into a fight or flight response. It’s good if we can actually fight or run away, but most times we just freeze emotionally. Our ‘frozen feelings’ are the cause of this ‘glitch’ in our learning process. We know we should be able to make a positive change, but that doesn’t change anything. With a sense of helplessness we fear the future and self-doubt rules our lives.

The process of change need not be traumatic. We need to understand that whatever pain we experienced in the past because of which we made certain choices, were the only recourse we had at the time. We couldn’t have done any better because we didn’t know how to. But we should realize that was then and this is now! We can get help from trained professionals and learn to unblock the negative emotions fused in our past that affect our positive future. We can choose to choose again. It’s up to us. It’s our movie!  -The Times of India

The writer is the co-founder, AJNA Centre for Learning, Pune.  E-mail: ajnacenter@yahoo.com.  Website: www.ajnacenter.com

 

Live the present moment free of past & future (1 of 2)

Good morning friends.  Do you think it will be easy to live the present moment which is free from our past and future.  Some may say it is easy, but others says our present is the continuation of our past and future.  We may not do things yet in the future but we are planning everything in our present moment for us to be ready for a better success or maybe a failure. 

Living in the present is the only way to live. It is in the present moment that we touch base with our inner selves and come to terms with outside reality. 

The now is a continuum from the irretrievable past to the embodied future. In life we are continually say goodbyes to our past situations and circumstances and our reactions to them. At the same time, in the now, we plan and perfect a future we would like to ensure for ourselves.

The now is present in all that we enjoy and each moment expands our inner consciousness. In the now we can be enveloped by sun, shine and rain. The dawn of a new day, each day, makes the morning a time of peace, thanksgiving and prayer, loaded with positive vibrations and thoughts.

As the day progresses, we go on to encounter both good and bad. We choose in each moment to strengthen the good in us and to weaken the low and unpalatable, so that the now acts as a bridge going from one good experience to another.

We wrap up the experiences of the day at evensong. Each moment of the 24-hour day is a renewed invitation to live in the now. When we choose to live our lives by dwelling in the past and with our attention riveted on a future that has not yet arrived, forgetting the present, we lose the precious now that is in the moment.

If we live in the now, we experience the richness of the present moment. We are rooted in reality and we extract from both the past and the impending future the ever present now.

Working mind and the thinking mind (2)

Is going into who you are a horizontal activity?

Asking the question, “Who wants to know?” is the working mind. Arising of the question is vertical, the involvement of the thinking mind is horizontal. The working mind is not horizontal. The working mind is the present moment. So in the present moment the working mind asks the question “Who wants to know?” and if the thinking mind doesn’t come in try to answer the question, then the “who” disappears.

There are two aspects. One is the monkey mind ^ the thinking mind which asks questions, provides answers, and asks further questions of those answers and goes on and on. Then another aspect, the working mind, is only focused with doing what needs to be done at the moment in the circumstances. It is not concerned, not even with whether the work that is being done is necessary or not. Nor is it concerned with the consequences. It is only focused on doing the job that is being done, and it is not concerned with “who” is doing the job.

It is the thinking mind that says, “I’m doing this work, and ‘i’ must find out what the consequences are going to be.” So the thinking mind always thinks about the consequences in the future. The working mind is not concerned with the future.

The “one” who is concerned with the consequences of the future is the thinking mind, the ego. In the working mind there is no individual, no ego. So in the working mind if there is no individual doing the work, then “who” is to worry about the consequences? In the working mind there is no individual worker ^ the work is just being done.

The individual “doer” is the thinking mind wanting to know: After the work is done, what is going to happen to me? The “me” is the thinking mind, ego. The ego is the identification with the name and form as an individual with the sense of doership whatever happens to this body “i” am doing it, and “i” am the one who is going to suffer the consequences. – The Times of India

Satsang: Ramesh S Balsekar

For a better relationship, let yourself be puzzled

Good morning friends.  There are times in our lives, we commit mistakes and later on we realize that.  It’s natural thing.  We don’t totally stop that, but we can avoid it.

Do you find yourself thinking, I know she’ll say… or I know she wants…?  If so, you’ve fallen into the trap of letting outcomes from the past rule the outcomes of the future.  Thinking you know your partner is the fastest route to stagnation.  There is no room for transformation here;  no freedom for growth, experimentation or mystery.  And mystery is where romance, interest and sex all reside.

If stale thinking is overtaking you, remind yourself that your partner is a stranger to you—a mysterious “other” with reactions, thoughts and values you have not even begun to tap.  Instead of saying, “I know what she’; think,” ask her.  “What do you think?”  give her a chance to reveal herself to you. 

Adapted from the book From This Day Forward:  Meditations on the First Years of Marriage, by Toni Sciarra Poynter.

Our Future Generation

This teenage boys and girls were all attentive with the person in front of them.  Listening very carefully for all what he is saying.  They all have the same thoughts that they should learn something which that person taught.  They want to learn.  They are all preparing for their future.  As they all thought that they needed to attend to school.  Youth will be  our future generation.  They are all positive with what they want for their future.